Haven't done one of these things in a while. Been places and done things, but by and large I don't hold with keeping a public record of my day to day life out there for the internet to see.

Still, the current Democratic primaries are fairly awesome, and I've gotten to be involved in them (for once), so I thought I'd ramble on that subject for a bit.

One of the things that really annoys me is people saying a long running primary hurts the Democratic Party. I don't buy that for a second. Years and years of candidates being selected before most states have a chance to vote hurt the Democratic Party. Running "safe" candidates like John Kerry hurt the Democratic Party. Actually letting a the whole party hash out who we want to run for President? That does anything but hurt us.

Seriously, the primary voting in Texas was amazing. Most voters at the standard primary in 20 years. Most voters in the caucuses ever. People went out of their way and disrupted their schedules to sit in uncomfortable chairs and slog through a baffling procedure in order to make their voices heard. And every last one of them was a registered voter.

These are people that have a connection to the Democratic Party in Texas now. They've met the local party workers. They've given and received contact information. Heck, a decent chunk of them are going to caucus again shortly ( ). A lot of these people have been totally disengaged from politics up until this election. And now they're going to vote.

As far as I can tell, this primary has been the best thing to happen for the Democrats in Texas in at least 20 years. Amazing what can happen when people actually care what you decide.

[link] -Order of the Stick is to me proof that visual art skills are neither necessary nor sufficient to tell an awesome story via comics.

I mean, seriously, it's a stick figure comic. But I'd take it over any of the poorly plotted, erratically updated webcomics out there. You know, like Megatokyo. Seriously, that comic bites hard. And is now available in book stores, which makes me sad inside.

But ignoring all that... [link] actually made me a little teary eyed.

In conclusion... OotS is awesome.

I don't update this thing that often. I start to fairly frequently, but I usually don't post. This is because I have a tendency to write mammoth journal entries that reveal my innermost soul... and then read them and realize that is far too much information to reveal to the general internet going public. So let's try something simpler. A list of things I consider awesome, listed in no particular order.

1. Vintage (25+years old) Seikos.
2. Steve McQueen movies. Seriously, Steve McQueen was awesome.
3. Poul Anderson novels. Well, most of them.
4. DVDs- so very much easier to store than VHS.
5. Anachronism- the mechanical timepiece industry is worth multiple billions of dollars. At intervals I derive great LULZ from this.
6. Red Dwarf- very funny show.
7. Dogs- I love dogs. Really isn't much else to say.
8. Cats- the smaller, neater, less emotionally needy dog. A viable alternative.
9. Central air conditioning- I shall never live without it again.
10. The Japanese Imperial Navy- fought the most decisive battleship on battleship engagement ever. Awesome indeed.

Okay, this was fun. I may do more of these.

[link]

Francesco Marciuliano's cat Boris is dead. I'm having trouble explaining why that makes me so sad. I've never met Marciuliano in person, and I've definitely never met his cat. I read his blog and his comics, but I certainly don't know him.

But... his cat died. For some reason that really resonated with me. The death of a pet is one of the few tragic events in my life that actually felt the way a tragic event it supposed to.

The death of my grandparents? I remember a certain faint gray sadness. A belief that I should really care more about this, combined with a realization that I didn't. I was sad about the realities of old age and death, but it didn't have any personal impact.

The death of a neighbor and friend-by-convenience that I'd grown up with when I was 15? Cold indifference. I remember basically thinking something along the lines that he'd been kind of a jackass but now he was dead. The whole thing basically received a mental shrug.

The only deaths I can remember really getting to me were two dogs and an old man by the name of Frank Cobb. After a moment's consideration I don't particularly feel like sharing the details of any of that online. Some things are personal, and an online journal is anything but private.

Still, Francesco Marciuliano's cat died. I feel his pain, and wish him the very best.

Despite what the title might imply, this isn't going to be a particularly self-pitying journal entry. It will, however, be a bit of a navel gazer. Consider yourself duly warned, potential readers.

While succumbing to feline extortion and feeding the cat some much demanded tuna earlier tonight, I had a bit of a revelation. Translated into intelligent thought, it would read: "I define myself in negatives."

My goals have generally had less to do with what I wanted than what I didn't want. I didn't want to be one of those guys still living with their parents at age 30, so I was permanently out the door by age 19. I don't ever want to be poor, so I've been steadily piling up money my entire life.

It goes on and on. My obsessive need for independence has more to do with my refusal to ever ask permission than anything else. My willingness to be casually cruel to those who fail at life is based off a deeply ingrained determination to never be the person a junkie thinks of when he's in trouble. My carefully acquired social skills are just my attempt to not be an utter geek.

The very thing that drives me to actually haul my ass to work on time every day is just more of the same. It isn't a desire to be respected or industrious. It is the memory of the casual contempt I've always felt for those who are neither. I don't ever want that directed at me.

If I were to say what I wanted out of life in terms a normal, rational human being would find understandable; I would say I want wealth, respect, and freedom. But what I actually want is to avoid poverty, contempt, and being dependent on someone else. I just want to avoid those things so completely that it turns into a desire for something else.

I have no idea if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I just know that my decisions in life are based off who I don't want to be.